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Friday, February 23rd, 2007
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| Time: | Friday, February 23rd, 2007 around 1:21pm |
| Mood: |  Never Ends.. | | Music: | Ben Jelen _ Give It All Away.. |
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My front door got covered in eggs last night. Andrea left 10 minutes to 9:00 and Lily left at 11:00. SO it happened in the time frame of those two.
I'll say it agian.
LOVE ME OR HATE ME ITS STILL AN OBBSESSION.
Thanks Lady S.
That ignorant action just showed me how much power I have. At the tip of my LIPS I could destroy somebody. I find that beautiful. Evil, but beautiful.
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Wednesday, February 21st, 2007
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| Time: | Wednesday, February 21st, 2007 around 3:31am |
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I am at peace.
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| Time: | Wednesday, February 21st, 2007 around 1:32am |
| Mood: |  *. | | Music: | Arcade Fire _ Intervention. |
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Twiggy is the perfect defention of what Beauty is.She had the perfect face, everything proportional-ized beauitufully.
I changed my livejournal background agian. I change it once a weelk I think. And Im feeling this background a lot right now. That means it will stay for a while.
Im impulsive.
I took alot of cheesy personaliy quizzes tonight. Abour 30 to be honest. It was so fun, and I was getting really nice answers so I kept doing them. Even though I know exactly who I am, and what my perfect man would be and all that, It was still great.
My backbone hurts.
Im so please with myself lately. The only thing I need to work on is my spiritual life. And Im convinced I'll be able to tackle anything.
One of the quizzes was, what is your "hippie chick" name... I got Ethereal. Hahaha. Hmm.Its good enough I suppose. I already have an anser to that though too. Meadow. Meadow is my real name. Thanks Lily.
I have to stop relying on horoscopes so often. I dont know how I feel about that. Its not benefitting me much though.
Im really hungry right now.
I cant wait to see Black Snake Moan. I've been told I resemble Christina Ricci.
Have a beautiful Day.
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Monday, February 19th, 2007
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| Time: | Monday, February 19th, 2007 around 10:54pm |
| Mood: | content. | | Music: | Hinder _ Get Stoned. |
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Im living on a ray of sunshine.
Im living on a ray of sunshine.
Im working on a pillow for 3-D. Im really hoping it turns out nice. Its orange on one side, and on the other its an un known color. Im thinking Green or some brown tones would be perfect. And then the focus is going to be a white peace sign right in the middle. Im really exicted about it. I plan on going to my talented grandmothers house and having her help me with it and give me a choice of what yarn colors to use. Spending time at grandparents house's are always lovely. I need to give them some attention right now, and what a better idea to go there and ask her to help me sew. Her foods always a plus in my book too. Josh is the defintion of annoying though. He has bad energy all around him. He wears me out, and I hate it.
For some reason I just had a sudden urge to change my screenname. I've had this one for soo long though, I think it was... 8th grade when I made it. At Amanda Steeles house actually. Aw. I remember that perfectly. And that just reminded me I really want to see her. Maybe I should ditch my grandma and call her, what do you think? Or maybe I'll just wait until the next day. Whatever. I need to spend some time with that girl.
My mom took the kids to a movie when she got home from work. It was the Bridge to Terabifia? I have no idea how to spell that. I think I did okay though, atleast you know what Im talking about. Anyways, my moms a cold hearted woman. Honestly. And Ive only seen her cry in tragic tragic moments. But she came home and told me she was balling her eyes out. I cant beileve that, Disney made someone as stubborn as my mother cry. That movie is on my list of things to accomplish. She told me that If was to go with them that night, that I would have had to been escorted out of the theatre. Pshhh. I'll escort her out of the theatre.
I think the time has come for me to dye my hair agian. or somthing. I just feel that sense to change mood coming on top of me. Im thinking red. Orangey red. Like that girl on Degrassi. Instant Star? Im feeling it.
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Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
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| Time: | Tuesday, February 13th, 2007 around 9:39pm |
| Mood: |  Where has cupid been?. | | Music: | Imogen Heap.. |
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Valentines day is tommorow. I have never had a boyfriend during valentines day. Is that pathetic? I honestly need to grow up. I dont know why it hurts me so bad to not even be liking somebody. Theres just no one out there that I see, that is good enough. Well wait, no there's plenty that I would be terribly happy with but it wouldnt be real, so thats a No on my part. I dont know. I've gone this long without having someone to consume my hopless romantic thoughts, I think Im pretty much an independant girl. I wish I just had someone that actually has a personality, and likes to write or is really into art. Is it that hard to find someone with few stantards such as those? Obviously not because it seems like everybody had someone that truely understands them and actually has passion for one another. Im mean sure, Flirting is another reality. Every girl has a handful of boys she can get anything from but I want somthind different, real, serious. Okay, Im done thinking about this. Im a happy young women, thats growing into someone I truely love to be. I dont need no man, I have a beautiful life without one.
Happy Valentines, all you lovers out there.
Did any of you out there hear about the two skeletons Archeologists found burried outside Mantua, 25 miles south of Verona, the romantic city where Shakespeare set the star-crossed tale of Romeo and Juliet? How unbeilevable is that? They were burried between 5,000 to 6,000 years ago.
"As far as we know, it's unique," Menotti told The Associated Press by telephone from Milan. "Double burials from the Neolithic are unheard of, and these are even hugging."
I heard that today and was so intrested in it, that I came home and looked up more information about it. I guess there was a kniff found near them too.I read that and thought of it as a double suicide act of tragic love. And whats even more odd was that I just got done reading a beautiful book about two lovers doing the same exact thing. The book is called THE PACT - By Elizabeth Berg. So I was kind of already in the mind set of that. I just find it insanely intresting and conflicting to think about. I cant wait to hear what they come up with, even though there will be about 7 theroys out ther on what "really happened". I just want to know the facts and come up with my own reasoning.I thought that was a wonderful little story to share for Valentines Day.
Im really liking this song. Imogen Heap _ Speeding Cars. I've been replaying it throughout like 10 minutes. Knowing me I'll probley over play it until It dies, within a week. haha. Or hear on some stupid girls myspace and be completley disgusted to think that she connected to it as much as me.
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Tuesday, February 6th, 2007
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Q: What would it be like if you didnt know me?
Dude. Who knew two snow days could happen in such a needed and perfect time of my life. I cant get over the fact at how the weather actually worked to my advantage. Thanks cold front. Anyways, here I am sitting in the same pajamas I wore all day yesterday. Im in an unusual good mood wasting it in front of the computer screen. Thats why im being semi useful, in a way to write a journal entry so who knows one of you lucky people out there can be affected. Lastnight was a nice evening. Chinesse food at my secondhome started the good fortune i think. I love Patrcica's house so much. I hope her mom dosnt think im over to much or anything. But seriously I love just being able to go over then whenever I please only to know Ill have a great time. Irish music is always a plus as well. I love Patricia Ballarina and her family. The computer provided great service to me late last night. Who knew somthing as simple as a myspace survey type things could end up in such beauty. I had multiple ones with PT and Andrea. I got such thoughtful results from both of them. It touched me.Andrea I feel like I know you at a deeper level and want to start hanging out with her more. I highly enjoy both of those pretty young ladies. I highly enjoy this other girl to her name is Lily. Ive been fighting with her for too much time , more time then we both intentioned I think. Anyways I talked to her breifly lastnight as well. She said she prays for me everynight. It brought tears to my eyes. In the mist of our pety argument she said that. That shows such strength and love to do somthing like that. I know Im still on probation with her but we are okay agian. Its quite unreal how I cant live my life without that girl. Were soulmate bestfriends. I love Lily. I take for granted the wonderful friendships I have in my life. I feel bad for not mentioning Kelly in her and I know shes going to read it. :).... Hi kelly. I didnt talk about you in here because Were floating above the rainbow with our friendship right now, no problem-os. Just complete understandment. I love you too girly, more then you'll ever know. Wensday I really think it will happen and Im really exicted for it. I should go on stage, hahaha. With enough support who knows. Alright. Mady and Mikey are behind me playing UNO. Its funny watching them, actually listening to them. Madys birthday is on the 8th. Shes going to be 12 years old. thats crazy. I reallyyyyy need to start bonding with her instead of making fun of her because before i realize it i could be out of this house and miss my chance to actually get to know my little adoring sister. Mike's birthday is on the 11th. Hes going to be 10!!! Its so creepy how It feels like Mike's older then mady and that mady shoulndt grow up yet. I can honestly say that I know my brother more them Madison. Its really horrible for me to say but me and mike just click naturally more. One of my goals is to get in my sisters head and find out who she is. Im not moving out until I feel satisfied with my relationships with my siblings. Why are relationships so intense? its like all they are, are layers of like knowing the person. I cant explain it with my little vocabulary but maybe in the future Ill attmpt agian.
When theres nothing left in you to feel despair you automatically float up to love. Unless of coarse your stubborn and keep rejecting the lift so you find yourself working harder to stay on the ground.
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Sunday, January 28th, 2007
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| Time: | Sunday, January 28th, 2007 around 9:36pm |
| Mood: | fhaihgakgha?. | | Music: | Deftones - anniversary of an event. |
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My parents have "gave up" on me if you will. Or they just realize that Im not under their control anymore. Today I spent my time with some very lovley people. We went ice skating until we couldnt feel our bootys. I had soo many snow balls thrown at my face today it was insane. Its hard to breath in cold weather. Half of my hair was iceicles. It was a postitve memory. Until my mother called me. She greeted me with a glorious " so how long have you been smoking Lindsay?". Talk about shock. All I could say was "uhh... I dont smoke.I dont smoke.I dont smoke.I dont smoke?". Ahhhh. After we hung up I felt relieved and terrified. But I can honestly say that I didnt really care. I do what I want, Im not living my precious life under their rules anymore. I do what I want and think is best for myself. Since I was having such a fun day I didnt really remember to think of the fact my parents were at home, doing dishes or watching football knowing the fact that their oldest daughter smokes cigarettes. But Ocassionally reality would return to me in a flash resulting in me freaking out saying I just dont know what im going to do. And debating whose house I would live at. Luckily I have beautiful friends to take me in and actully care.I thank god for that too. Anyways it didnt really hit me until I had to be home. I walked home with PT, as slow and carefully as I could. Feeling like I was about to throw up at the sight of my fathers face. I got greeted with a " heyyyy smoky" at the door this time. As discretly as I could I walked down stairs praying to god my dad wouldnt call my name. Then the second came when I strongly carried my wrestless body upstairs to answer my harsh toned father. At first he just stared at me. I was honestley expecting a hard slap in the face. Instead I got a pity lecture. That turned out to be absolutly wonderfullll to what I was expecting. My parents are disappointed in me but dont give a fuck what I do. Just as long as its not in their house. It only lasted about 20 minutes. And Im completley pleased. I couldnt have hoped for anything better. I thank god for watching over my punk ass today. And everyday for that matter. I have to be more careful with the little things. Definatley. The night came to an ending with me myself and I walking home in freezing weather with the best dog in the world. I am finally at peace.
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Saturday, January 27th, 2007
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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
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Today the wonderful Mrs.Braun told me what the name Lindsay represents in her eyes.
" The name Lindsay means your extremely creative. You make everything your eyes see into some kinda art. You know exactly who you are, yet you dont show it. You have no faith in yourself at all. And I dont know why, you need constant back up in order to make you feel right. You have no reason to be so mysterious. You probley can express your emotions in words very easily. It comes easy to you. Your such a strong girl, and need to stop being so afraid to show it."
Hmm. Im not going to lie, that touched me quite a bit. Mrs. Braun has such a talent in the intellectual world. Id like to beileve I do too. Shes kind of my idol. I mean shes an art teacher that influences atleast 100 hundred kids each day. She has so much power. And I envy her for that because unlike most teacher she uses it for the kids well being. Not neccessarily hers. She completes my life. Anyways enough of that today was crazy, just like everyother day I suppose. I get aggravated soo easily lately. At everything and everyone. Especially my damn family. Its disgusting how much I cant take them. Every chance I get to not be home, I take. Only for the reason that I dont have to sit here and soak up all their bad energy. My mom brings me down like as if its her pleasure to put me in pain. My sister is the defintion of annoying. She needs to grow up. I understand Im not perfect, but I know my place. It would be a beautiful thing for my parent to realize theres. Im really tired right now, and dont really want to bitch anymore. On a postitve note, I went to Warren today. Warren always makes me happy. I wonder what it would be like if I still lived there. God only knows. My parents always disapprove of me going down there. So obviously they hardly ever know. But Josh got his damn Atm card stuck in a machine down there so know Im screwed. Im not worried about it. Im almost eighteen, Im living my own damn life. Finding beauty in dark places is one of my talents. Somtimes I wish I could look into the future. Its like right now in my life, I have more then I need. Any yet it still feels like somthing missing. You've heard the qoute misery loves company. Well I cant descide weather its the misery that Im missing or somthing else. Whatever it is, I wish it would show itself soon.
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Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
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| Time: | Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 around 1:13pm |
| Mood: |  Whats that say about me?. | | Music: | Underoath!. |
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I just deleted a ridiculasly long respnse to the news I heard lastnight. Wanna know why? Because Hes not worth it. I need to start realizing what I actually deserve in this world. My whole life I've grown up thinking what you get is what you get. I deserve better. Im ready! Back to reality here, Im sooo sick right now. I think I have the flu. Withhh Strep throat on top of that.
I'll be okay.
I'll be okay.
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Sunday, January 21st, 2007
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Saturday, January 20th, 2007
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It dosn't take a talent to be mean.
Seriously its sick.
My mom drives me crazy.
Its not right.
I just dont understand her cold heart.
I dont see how I can come from two hard hearts.
And grow up to be so sensitive.
Josh is on his way here.
Uhhhhh. Life isn't a fairy tale.
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Wednesday, January 17th, 2007
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| Time: | Wednesday, January 17th, 2007 around 11:18pm |
| Music: | The White Stripes.. |
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1.17.07
I highly enjoyed this day. Its over in 50 minutes. Thats mad. Im pretty sure everything about today was beautiful. Except on American Idol, when that young man came out of those broken doors. Simon told him he looked like a creature from the woods or somthing, that was so so mean. Im such a softy but seriously I was about to tear up. How embarrassing for that boy. I felt so incrediabley bad for him. I hope he has the best life. And dosnt give a fuck what people say behind his back, or in that case RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. uhhh Im too sensitive but that bothered me so much. I hope Simon realizes that, and gets dierrea for a week straight. And cant judge on american idol. Anywaysssss. Thank you god for such a beautiful day.
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Friday, January 12th, 2007
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| Time: | Friday, January 12th, 2007 around 3:26pm |
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"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere near by."
- RUTH RENKEL
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Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
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| Time: | Tuesday, January 9th, 2007 around 10:10pm |
| Music: | Jewel - Im sensitive. |
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I got the hook ups.
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Friday, January 5th, 2007
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| Time: | Friday, January 5th, 2007 around 10:52pm |
| Music: | Regina Specktor _Samson. |
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Im really happy. Lately things have been so genuine and fun. I just dont care enough to deal with pointless violence anymore. So im flying high instead. Everything is just so good. I have the baby for parenting. His name is Benjiman. He is insane, he crys every 5 minutes and dosnt stop for like and hour and a half straight. Its intense. Good thing Im not a mother. That would be chaotic. I cant even handle choosing what flavor toothpaste to use let alone be in control of a babys life. Pssh. I like this so far. Im going to be eighteen kinda soon. Im getting a tattoo. Your jealous. Ummmm, graduation. Thats great. Just come already. what else lol... I dont even know... Um. Today I got a little mermaid shirt, at hot topic. It was 20$. But I couldnt pass it up. Alright I hope all of you fans of mine are doing well as well. Lateley I've been listening to Metric. Im a baller. BALLINN. Today at the mall I got so many dirty looks for having a baby. Ha. Its ridiculas, my heart goes out to whom ever is a teen mother out there. Everything happens for a reason though ya know, its just tough.tough.tough.tough. Life is beautiful. Soak it up. And smile along the way. Meet me at the sunny road. In other news, I have to concentrate on schoolwork and my paintings. I have to really start making portfolio work, I should go get on that crap right now. Im in a beautiful mood. And need to take advantage of it, and express myself. I hope everyone who read this, or even skimmed this, has a glourious weekend.
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Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
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| Time: | Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007 around 11:30pm |
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Im almost postitve Im bleaching my hair.
Got any say?
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Plain and simple living?
Dont be vain.
Dont be jealous.
Dont be worried.
Ohh man. I like where this year is going.
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Wednesday, December 27th, 2006
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| Subject: | ()()()()() |
| Time: | Wednesday, December 27th, 2006 around 2:21pm |
| Mood: | Lost.. | | Music: | Near you always- Jewel. |
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Last night was emotionally eventfull. Three intense conversations took place, and all of them were different for completley opposite intentions. I did my best to be honest with everyone I talked to. I dont apologize for anything I said, because I meant every word. I do apologize if I hurt your feelings though. Im really not worth it. I cant really say what I predict thats going to happen in the furture. Weather it be in the near future or not. I have no say in destiny. I can tell you that I keep telling myself this is for the best. This is for the best. This for the best. Violence is how people handle complex situations. Because acting polite is the harder task to do. I dont know what Im doing and all I can do is keep going and see where it takes me. Im a mysterious indiviual, and I dont expect any of you to even begin to understand my motives.
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Monday, December 25th, 2006
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| Time: | Monday, December 25th, 2006 around 8:29am |
| Mood: | See the beauty?. |
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I hope everyone has a beautiful Christmas. Lets not forget the real holiday here though. The birth of Christ. I dont know about you but Im thankful to be alive and healthy. Do you realize how many unfortanute people live their lives only because of other people, There are sooo many handicaped and mentally ill people out there who are 5 times as happy as us that there living. I dont know about you but I definatley feel like I take advantage of way too many things that just come to me. I challenge whom ever reads this, try and look around today and see how much you take for granted, weather it be all the expensive things you recieve for Chritmas, or just the love of your family. You never know this could be our last day living on earth, might as well live it right dont ya think? Merry Christmas Livejournal friends!
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